he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
