I think my vagina is haunted
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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