What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
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