Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
