this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
