alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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