Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
