Please, let me fuck your mom
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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