Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
