I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
