sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
