you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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