it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
