Duck Duck Cougar?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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