i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
