someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Text me some of your sweat
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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