I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
