im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
