he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
