Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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