...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
