i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
