awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
