Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
