your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
