she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
