Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
