Please, let me fuck your mom
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
