you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
