He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
