Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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