If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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