Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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