Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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