Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
3pm strippers are depressing
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
