I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
