i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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