My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
