He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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