I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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