im six kinds of drunk right now
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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