U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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