he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
