I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I know her cup size but not her name....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
