I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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