By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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