dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
