Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
