She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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