Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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