so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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